“Begin at the beginning”, the King said gravely.

Welcome. This blog is just about me: I am 37, a mum to a little boy, self-employed designer, and I got issues.  It’s a situation totally of my own making.

Ever since I was a teenager I thought I was prone to depression (some quirks in mental instability run in the family), and with the dawn of the internet and the glorious practise of googling symptoms reinforced this idea in my head.
Which is exactly what you can do with any ailment known to man, google it and you got it.

Anxiety disorder never even crossed my mind, but now after seeing my GP a week and a bit ago and being told that is what I had it does seem that it fits perfectly to everything I have been experiencing.

I have always hated confrontation and fights, probably due to the fact that I am not very quick to think on my feet at all. So, I always lose an argument. Now it has turned into not being able to say anything at all, add to that a generic sense of worry and dread over everything, including mundane things like missing the train or the shampoo bottles left on the windowsill and you got a nice little bundle of trouble with palpitations and sweaty hands.

I haven’t yet had a proper diagnosis; I am not on drugs or therapy so floating in a nice state of limbo at present, whilst waiting for some test results to come through.

This blog is about me trying to make sense of the situation, I thought it might be interesting to write whilst all this madness is going round in my head, rather than to try to catch it once it has ceased. Which it will, sooner or later.

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